Lil' Smokies and Tortilla Chip Casserole

Abandoned Edibles

Tortilla chips; BBQ Lil' Smokies

(additional ingredients: tator tots, cream of mushroom soup, sour cream, cheddar cheese, bag of frozen vegetables, INSANITY!) 

What I did: whoa, nelly!  I've really outdone myself this time.  I brought home a bunch of leftover cocktail wieners and tortilla chips from a catering, and had the INSANE idea to make a casserole out of them.  This project was so effin' ridiculous that I refuse to divulge how, exactly,  I made this dish, in fear that some other crazy mofo will attempt to duplicate it.  Note: please, for the love of all things holy, do NOT.  I'm warning you.

Instead, I'm going to tell the tale of the Lil Smoky Casserole via a pictorial spread.  Without further ado, here we go:

First and formeost, I had to wash the cocktail wieners clean of their sins (AKA, the barbeque sauce surrounding them), which was weird and NO I do not want to talk about it.  If I never have to scour miniature cocktail wieners clean of condiments in my kitchen sink ever again, I will be a happy camper.

Next, I made a casserole.  I will not going into detail how this was done (trust me, it is for your own good).  Suffice to say, I incorporated lil smokies in the filling, which was my main objective (the tortilla chips will come later, don't worry!).  Being a true Minnesota girl at heart, I of course also threw in a bunch of tots.  What's a casserole without tots?  A damn, crying shame--that's what.

After cooking this monstrosity for about 45 minutes, I placed crushed tortilla chips on top, and sprinkled shredded cheese on top of that.  Back into the oven it went, for another 10 minutes or so, until the cheese was melted.  I poured myself a stiff cocktail, pulled the casserole out of the oven, and cut myself a piece to taste.

Here is an up close and personal shot of the casserole, for all you sickos out there.

The Verdict

This.  Was.  SO.  GROSS!  Seriously, I couldn't even finish my piece.  I had three bites.  But what was even MORE disturbing was that when Duggins got home, he ate TWO pieces.  And then brought leftovers to work the next day.  WTF!!  It seriously made me question his palate (not to mention, sanity) in a very serious and profound way.  Then again, this IS the same person who also enjoys eating Jello cones...

So I rest my case.

Taste: 2

Appearance: 7

Creativity: 7

Improvements for next time: stop smokin' crack and cooking with cocktail wieners! 

Leftover Surprise Pad Thai

Abandoned Edibles: fish sauce

Leftover Edibles: veggie assortment

(additional ingredients: rice noodles, shrimp, tamarind paste, brown sugar, chili pepper, garlic, lime, spices, etc.)

What I did:  I'll be honest, folks--it's been a busy week for me, which translates to low fridge content in regards to meat and produce.  That being said, I peered into my refrigerated abyss the other night in search of some dinner, only to find a small container of leftover vegetables (from a spinach & artichoke dip appetizer at a local restaurant), and an arsenal of condiments on the fridge door.  I spotted a bottle of fish sauce, given to me by a friend who purchased it and 'didn't like it', and decided to whip together a leftover pad thai dish using the abandoned fish sauce and leftover veggies.  I had rice noodles and 1/2 bag of frozen shrimp in the freezer, so it was destined to be!  I made a simple pad thai sauce using tamarind paste, brown sugar, fish sauce, hot water, and chili pepper.  The veggies and shrimp I sauteed on high heat with a little bit of olive oil and garlic.  The rice noodles I soaked until they were ALMOST soft enough, and finished them off by combining them with the pad thai sauce and veggie/shrimp mixture.  And lastly, I halved a lime to squeeze over the entire dish, once it was done--a bit of acid goes a long way!

The Verdict

Yummy!  I sure do love me some pad thai.  Okay, okay--I'll confess--this dish wasn't *really* pad thai...more like leftover noodle surprise, with a pad thai 'element' to it.  However.  It WAS delicious, I used up all my leftover veggies (I even found a bit of lettuce in the refrigerator for a small side salad!), I got to use fish sauce (I love that stuff), and I no longer had a growling, grumbling hunger monster in my stomach.  Success!

Taste: 8

Appearance: 7

Creativity: 6

Improvements for next time: celery in pad thai?  Um...I think next time, I'll forgo that veggie, even if it IS leftover and begging to be used.

Apple Rhubarb Pie

Abandoned Edibles

Rhubarb stalks; apples (abandoned)

Immaculate Baking Co. pie crust (on sale!)

(additional ingredients: brown sugar, white sugar, cinnamon, cornstarch, butter, spices, Greek Gods honey yogurt, etc.)

What I did: holy crow, I made a pie!  Well...kind of.  As those of you who know me realize, this is a BIG DEAL.  Folks, I do not bake.  I am so NOT a baker--I generally cower in fear at the sight of measuring spoons and flour sifters.  I feel totally off my game and perpetually ill-prepared when it comes to mastering eggs and flour and sugars in an oven.  However, in the span of 24 hours I received some rhubarb from a co-worker's home garden (thanks Amanda!) and about a dozen apples leftover from an event (long story), so I figured it was time to lay my fears to rest.  Plus, I was able to totally cheat by using a pre-made pie crust: it's baby steps, people.  And you know what?  Maybe next time I'll actually make my pie crust, instead of buying it for 2 bucks (on sale!) at the co-op.  Maybe.

However, for this round, I decided to keep it as simple as possible.  The general 'recipe' was easy: I simply peeled and sliced up about 10 apples, cubed the rhubarb into small pieces, and sauteed them both in butter, sugars, and spices.  I was worried that my filling was going to turn out runny, so I thickened my fruit filling with a little bit of cornstarch by making a slurry.  I followed the directions on the cheater pie crust box, rolled out my dough, filled it, and stuck it in the oven at 350 degrees for about 40 minutes.

The Verdict
Okay, so although I totally cheated by buying a pre-made pie crust (hey!  it was on sale!), I DID use up both of my abandoned edible crops of rhubarb and apples, AND...the pie was delicious!  I was so worried it was going to be a total disaster, but alas, it was tasty.  I also feel as if this pie is perhaps the stepping stone to future baked goods: although my hand was held via the use of a pre-made pie crust, I now feel more empowered to try additional baked goods in the abandoned edibles sphere!  Well...maybe.

In closing, I will leave you with this: the secret ingredient to this dessert?  The deliciously awesome dollop of Greek Gods' honey yogurt on top of a slice!  Mmmm mmmmm, this stuff is dyn-o-mite, and I'm not even a yogurt fan!  (seriously, it grosses me out...I think I ate too much of it when I was a little girl, when my mother would pick up single-serving flavored Yoplaits on sale from the grocery store, 4 for $1...oh yes, I remember it vividly!)  At any rate, the Greek yogurt was the perfect contrast to the sweet apples and tart rhubarb.  Decedent and delicious.

Taste: 7
Appearance: 7
Creativity: 5

Improvements for next time: fine, fine...you all win...I'll try making my own crust.  Bah humbug!

Look What I Found at the Grocery Store!

I kid you not, folks, I found this in the meat cooler at the grocery store this past weekend (note: when I say 'grocery store', I am NOT referring to our beloved co-op). I did a double take...and immediately fished my camera out of my purse and took a picture.

Someone in the meat department obviously has a sense of humor.

Baked Whitefish with Mango & Avocado Salsa

Abandoned Edibles

1 avocado (bruised)

Local Food

Whitefish (and Trout!) fillets from Bodin Fisheries

(additional ingredients: lemon, onion, paprika, parsley, butter, olive oil, salt, pepper, mango, vinegar, red onion, lemon pepper, dijon mustard, etc.)

I brought home a sad, bruised avocado from work the other day, and couldn't figure out what to do with it (you may have all guessed by now--although I no longer work for the co-op, my new job IS in the food service industry!) Then I remembered that I had a few whitefish fillets in the freezer, a mango in my fridge, and all the ingredients to make tartar sauce: I was inspired! Baked fish is super easy to make, too, which made ME super happy. To make the fish, I julienned onions, and made a bed of them on the baking sheet for the fish fillets to 'perch' on. (ha! See what I did there? I ♥ puns) I seasoned the fillets with spices on both sides, placed them on the onions and drizzled them with melted butter and olive oil. Thinly sliced pieces of lemon went on top of everything before I tented the baking sheet with tinfoil and placed it in the oven at 350 degrees.

After about 15 minutes, I took the fish out, set the oven to broil, sprinkled some paprika on, and popped them back in for a few more minutes. While the fish was in the oven, I made a quick lemon vinaigrette with lemon juice, olive oil, djion mustard, vinegar, salt, and pepper. I cubed up the mango and avocado, and mixed in my vinaigrette with the fruit. I also made tartar sauce for the side, which is, in my opinion, THE BEST tartar sauce I have ever had (more to come on that, later!)

The Verdict
Yum, what a perfect dinner for a summer day!  I must confess, as the picture above so obviously points out, that in addition to my whitefish, I ALSO made a side salad, corn muffins, and some carrot-ginger soup to go with my fish. (note: I didn't actually 'make' the soup...I actually purchased this, and added in leftover mashed potatoes from the night prior to make it thicker.)  My lovah was having a bad day at work, so this was my attempt to turn that frown upside down with a delicious--and gorgeous!--plate of food.  Everything seemed to compliment each other quite nicely, but I must confess something here: the key to this meal, the star of the show, the scene-stealer, the Big Cheese, was NOT the whitefish...it was the tartar sauce!  I swear to god, I make a damn good tartar sauce, one that makes even the blandest fish (like whitefish, let's face it) taste absolutely delicious.  And you know what?  For the first time ever, I'm providing an actual recipe, in case anyone wants to give it a whirl.  It's easy to make, but please, for the LOVE OF GOD, do NOT substitute pickle relish in lieu of the diced dill pickles.  That.  Shit.  Is.  Nasty!  It will NOT taste the same!

Taste: 9
Appearance: 9
Creativity: 5

Improvements for next time: none, that I can think of at the moment.  I used up my abandoned avocado AND had some delicious whitefish from Lake Superior for dinner.  Score!

Tangy Tartar Sauce
6-8 servings

3/4 cup Sour Cream
1/3 cup mayonnaise
2 medium sized dill pickles (brunoise)
1/2 small red onion (diced)
1 tbsp dried dill
1 tsp fresh lemon juice
1 tsp vinegar (or pickle brine)
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp lemon pepper
Additional salt and pepper to taste

Brunoise the pickles and dice the red onion (brunoise is just a fancy term for a small dice!) and set aside. Mix together sour cream, mayonnaise, vinegar and lemon juice. Mix in pickles, onion, dill, salt and lemon pepper. Add additional salt and pepper to taste. Serve with whitefish, on the side. Leftover tartar sauce can be stored in refrigerator for approximately 7 days.

The CIA

Last non-abandoned-edibles related post for a while, I promise! But I just HAVE to share my visit to the Culinary Institute of America's 'Greystone' restaurant in St. Helena, CA...LOOK how frickin' adorable their desert sampler was:


Is that not the cutest thing ever? Uncle Joe took us out to the Greystone while we were visiting, and it was a blast! I felt very much like a Japanese tourist in Hawai'i taking a picture of my food at a restaurant. We did an olive oil taste test as well, which was incredibly interesting...and tasty. Hot tip: if you go to the Greystone during the week, during 'happy hour', there are some great deals to be had, like this one. 5 bites and a glass of wine for $10?! Can't beat it!

Deep Fried Pickles?

Okay, I'll confess: technically, 'officially', this isn't really an Abandoned Edibles post...I suppose it doesn't qualify. This project stems from a recent trip to visit family in California that I took with my significant other: while tucked away inside a gay dive bar in Arcata, waiting out a sudden thunderstorm, the two of us were treated to rum (with a dash of coke) and deep fried pickles (seriously amazing) by Aunt Lynn. They. Were. DELICIOUS! Ever since then, I have been craving these tasty, fried, vinegar-y vittles. I decided to embark on an experiment to make The Best Deep Fried Pickle Ever while at home the other night, and I documented my adventure. Here we go...


Having lived in Hawai'i for five years--Land of Tempura Batter--I will admit, I am somewhat partial to this particular mode of frying. So, naturally, I decided to dunk my cukes in tempura. First I dredged them in seasoned flour (S&P only), then the tempura, then into the vat of scalding hot canola oil. It should be noted that I tried two sizes/types of pickles: spears, and those tiny little adorable baby dills. I wanted to see if there would be a difference in taste/texture/fry-ability--and indeed there was. I also attempted to pat dry the pickles as best I could before I dredged them...'attempted' being the key word here.


The verdict? Although the wee cukes were surely cute, the spears tasted much better. And the tempura batter worked wonders! Of COURSE we had to have ranch dressing with our fried pickles (ranch dressing = "the best thing Americans have ever contributed to the world", according to my favorite Englishman), which perfectly complimented the fried deliciousness.


Although my tempura-fried pickles were good, they weren't nearly as good as the bar pickles I had eaten a month prior in Northern California. Maybe it was my selection of pickle brand; I just grabbed whatever was in my refrigerator. I'm sure my mother's home-canned pickles would have been WAY better. But you know what? I think I know the most important variable here, one that stands out above the rest. Two words: ranch. dressing. That little dive bar made homemade, buttermilk ranch dressing in their tiny little kitchen behind the bar, and I'm pretty sure it made all the difference. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I could've drank a glass of that instead of my rum. Note to self: LEARN HOW TO MAKE HOMEMADE RANCH SALAD DRESSING!

I'm on the BOD, yeah you know me!

I have exciting news!
I have been elected to the Co-op's Board of Directors! I ran for and won one of three open positions a few weeks ago. I was very nervous (I had to give a speech at the annual meeting--yikes!) but I am VERY excited to serve in this position. What does this mean for you, my trusty AE readers? Who knows! Maybe I'll meet a farmer with an excessive cabbage crop, or hear about a sweet deal on canned tomatoes at the co-op from an employee, or discover a little-known produce stand that a friend of a friend tells me about. The possibilities truly are endless. I am SO excited about this position and can't wait for the adventure to begin!