Tempura Fried Eggplant with Zucchini and Corn Relish & Garlic Jack Twirl

Abandoned Edibles
eggplant, zucchini, sweet corn, green pepper, cucumbers, egg roll wrappers & garlic jack cheese (yes, again!)
*BONUS* leftover AEs: sour cream, spinach (additional ingredients: tempura batter, onion, garlic, marinara sauce, beef stock, flour, butter, vinegar, dill weed, sugar, etc.)

What I did: whew, okay, today was a crazy cooking fest. I actually made a cucumber & onion salad in addition to the eggplant and zucchini relish, so I was busy, busy, busy! Before I even started this project, however, I did some homework. In the past, I've fried eggplant before and it hasn't turned out so hot; I wanted to make sure this time would be different. Traditionally, when I've made eggplant, it would turn out oily, mushy, and without much texture variation--in other words, NAST. This time, I thought I'd A) incorporate tempura batter, and B) research online to pick up a few tips. So. Without further ado--after today's experiment, here is what I learned: first, slice eggplant vertically; horizontal slicing results in the eggplant fibers soaking up the oil, leading to soggy mush. Secondly, you need to "dry brine" the eggplant. Rub each slice with salt on each side, and place in colander for 45 minutes--you'll see big drops of water form on the slices, which is eggplant juice being drawn out of the vegetable by the salt through osmosis. Next, wash each slice under running water and rub it, squeeze, strain, and wash again; you want to make sure to get the salt off, otherwise your eggplant will be inedible. Once you have 'prepped' your eggplant, you are ready to cook it.

As my eggplant was sweating away, I made the zucchini and corn relish. I cubed up green pepper, zucchini, trimmed one ear of corn kernels off the cob, cut onions, garlic, and simmered in pot with beef stock and butter. I added a few tablespoons of marinara sauce, and thickened it up a bit with flour. As for the cucumber and onion salad--this consisted of cukes, onion, sour cream, vinegar, sugar, dill weed, salt and pepper. Two tips for this dish: a) make sure you slice the cukes and onions rather thin, and 2) if you 'sweat' your cukes (same process as the eggplant, only you don't have to wash the salt off), they remain super crunchy and delicious whilst floating around in their sour cream/vinegar sauce.

Okay, you still with me? Good...I realize today's entry is a little long-winded! Okay, back on the saddle, and on to the eggplant: dip in tempura batter (shake off excess), and fry. Yes, it is THAT easy (I used a box of tempura batter, worked great). Now, since I had wonton wrappers and garlic jack cheese, I decided to make a little twirl out of it to place on top of the eggplant, so I also fried these up at the same time.



The Verdict
Hot DAMN this shit was dy-no-mite! I am NOT kidding people, I have never cooked a vegetarian dish that tasted so delicious. Everything worked SO well together, and the texture variations were just fabulous, from the relish to the tempura to the crunch of the egg roll wrapper to the melted cheese that oozed out. The eggplant was NOT oily and/or mushy, the tempura batter worked fabulously, the twirl added a necessary crunch, the relish added an interesting flavor component, and the cucumber/onion salad was the perfect accompaniment. I actually LICKED MY PLATE. No lie.

Taste: 8.5
Creativity: 8
Appearance: 7

Improvements for next time: perhaps add seasonings to tempura batter...can you do that? Or would that mess up the composition? Methinks additional research is in order.

Cheesy Broccoli Soup

Abandoned Edibles
broccoli, carrots
*BONUS* leftover AEs: broccoli slaw, garlic jack cheese, & béchamel sauce from yesterday (additional ingredients: onion, chicken soup base, cheddar cheese, garlic powder, potatoes, spices, etc.)

What I did: our refrigerator is inundated with broccoli and carrot products! I mean, daaaamn gina, we have an entire drawer full of carrots, broccoli, and broccoli slaw (which consists of--you guessed it--broccoli and carrots). I wasn't very motivated this morning, so I decided the best thing to do would be to throw everything in a pot and make some cheesy broccoli soup. I chopped up the slaw into itty bitty pieces, cut up all my veggies, and threw it on the stove with some soup base. The béchamel and garlic jack cheese (along with the potatoes & cheddar) acted as a wonderful thickener. Super easy to make!



The Verdict
Tasty and easy (I could make an immature sexual reference here, but I'll refrain!) Not exactly creative, but this soup DID get rid of my broccoli and carrot infestation, so I suppose that counts for something. One note I will make, however: that damn broccoli slaw took forever to get tender! I'm not sure how I feel about that shit. I still have a bag in the freezer, and I'm thinking I'll definitely be throwing that in an egg roll mixture sometime in the near future. And if THAT doesn't work...broccoli slaw, you are dead to me!

Taste: 7
Creativity: 4
Appearance: 6

Improvements for next time: more cheese! I didn't have enough cheddar.

Venison with Cherry Tomato Broth and Spinach Salad with Avocado Dressing

Abandoned Edibles
cherry tomatoes, sour cream, lemon (bruised), avocado
(additional ingredients: venison steak from Jackie's freezer, beef stock, onions, garlic, lime, spice rub, soy sauce, brown sugar, etc.)

What I did: marinated venison in soy sauce, spice rub, brown sugar, lime juice, olive oil concoction for 6 hours. Booyah! Upon marination saturation, I sliced and seared the steak. Afterwards I deglazed the pan with beef stock, added tomato cherries, garlic, butter, and thickened with a roux. For the salad, I made an avocado dressing by combining olive oil, avocado, lemon juice, and sour cream. (Note: picture below also includes leftover potatoes from previous entry)



The Verdict
Oh, woe is me! As you can see from the picture, the avocado salad dressing did not make it on the plate. Why, you ask? Because it SUCKED. Big time. It was NOT good, it did NOT turn out, and I REFUSED to eat it. However, the venison was...AMAZING. Seriously. The broth was out of this world. So good. The venison itself was perfectly seasoned and melt-in-your-mouth tender; Jackie was able to cut it with a fork!

Picture of disastrous avocado dressing (warning: it looks like baby shit):


Taste: 7.5
Creativity: 7
Appearance: 8

Improvements for next time: obviously, the avocado dressing was a TOTAL failure. Which sucks, because the venison was definitely a 9.5! DAMN YOU shitty avocado dressing, for bringing the rating down!

Roasted Potatoes with Garlic Jack Béchamel and Broccoli Slaw

Abandoned Edibles
yukon gold potatoes, broccoli slaw, garlic jack cheese
(additional ingredients: milk, butter, flour, spice rub, etc.)

What I did: sliced potatoes, sprinkled with spice rub, roasted in oven. Made a basic béchamel sauce (roux, milk, whisk whisk whisk), shredded garlic jack cheese, incorporated into béchamel. Sauteed broccoli slaw in butter and olive oil. Served with potatoes on bottom, slaw on top, and béchamel on slaw.



The Verdict
Well. The potatoes and garlic jack béchamel were GREAT; the slaw--not so much. I had issues with the texture. I was trying to think of ways to use it without making a 'salad' or 'slaw' type side dish (seemed too easy), but I'm not sure this is the best use. PS, as an aside, it should be noted that by the time I got around to taking the picture, the béchamel had thickened a bit, so the dish didn't look as 'pretty' as I would have liked.

Taste: 6
Creativity: 6
Appearance: 6

Improvements for next time: sadly, I think the slaw would be better used in a different application. The slaw consists of matchsticks of broccoli and carrots, so...maybe as an egg roll ingredient? I DO have a plethora of egg roll wrappers, after all! Or chopped up and thrown in a soup? Of the cheesy broccoli variety, perhaps?

Baby Bok Choy Soup with Crispy Wontons

Abandoned Edibles
baby bok choy (slightly wilted), egg roll wrappers, Q'uorn chik'n cutlets (chicken substitute made of mushrooms with absurd and annoying spelling of product)
(additional ingredients: ramen noodles, garlic, onion, chicken soup base, soy sauce, etc.)

What I did: rinsed and quartered bok choy. Cut up faux chicken cutlets, onion, garlic, ramen noodles, threw everything together in soup pot. Made base out of that creepy packet of 'spices' found in ramen noodle packages and a few tablespoons of 'better than boullion' soup base. While soup was simmering, I cut up the large egg roll wrappers into smaller strips and fried 'em up to make crispy wontons. Seasoned soup with spices and soy sauce, ladled into bowl, garnished with wontons.


The Verdict
The best dish thus far, in my opinion! Delicious. Reminiscent of Vietnamese pho a bit (minus the anise + other amazing spices found in pho broth)--lots of greens, onions, texture variations. The wontons on top were essential: definitely elevated the dish by adding an important crunchy element. Also: this dish is vegetarian! The faux chicken cutlets worked perfectly, much to my surprise.

Taste: 8
Creativity: 7
Appearance: 7

Improvements for next time: spring onions and/or green onions for sure, and maybe incorporate a tablespoon or two of vinegar? We didn't have any in the house, otherwise I would have gone for it!

Pepperoni Rolls

Abandoned Edibles
Pepperoni (additive free), organic eggs, red pepper, egg roll wrappers
(additional ingredients: marinara sauce, cheese, mushrooms,etc.)

What I did: cut egg roll wrappers diagonally to form triangles. Spread marinara sauce, cheese, onions, peppers, mushrooms, pepperoni on wrapper. Rolled up, sealed with egg wash, and fried in organic canola oil until wrappers became slightly crunchy. (ala pizza eggroll style)


The Verdict
I made this shit twice tonight. Once for Jackie and I as we cleaned the kitchen with Amanda; the second time for a bunch of wig-wearing drunk people during Emily's birthday party. It was a hit both times! Like a goddamn pizza eggroll, seriously. And it was delicious! The egg roll wrappers contributed a delicious crunch, and the pepperoni was the perfect ingredient to accompany it.


Taste: 7
Creativity: 6
Appearance: 6

Improvements for next time: more creative fillings? Other than savory Italian standards, perhaps?

Peach and Rice Muck

Abandoned Edibles
peaches (bruised), skim milk, sour cream, organic brown eggs
(additional ingredients: rice, vanilla, sugar, etc.)

What I did: made a vanilla rice pudding by tempering eggs into a rice, milk, vanilla concoction. Sliced peaches (sans bruises), arranged on top, sprinkled brown sugar and pumpkin spice liberally. Broiled in oven for five minutes. Garnished with sour cream dollops.




The Verdict
This dish was relatively easy to make, and also relatively bland. I didn't love it, I didn't hate it, and I'm pretty sure it would be a big hit at the old folks home. In other words: soft, mushy, peachy. An apathetic amalgamation of peach and rice.

Taste: 5
Creativity: 4
Appearance: 6

Improvements for next time: an additional texture would be required. Muck = BAD. Maybe add some spice as well?

Here's the Deal--

I love to cook, and I now work at a food Co-op in Wisconsin. Everyday, a variety of items from the store--dairy, produce, meat, pantry items, etc.--get pulled from the shelves because they are past their expiration date (or nearly expired). These abandoned edibles are gently placed in the 'cull bin', and made available for employees to pick up for free and bring home. I grab whatever I can at the end of my shift and attempt to create a dish based on my cull findings later that night. Some will succeed; many will fail. This is their story.